One of the things I have talked about in previous posts is that us butterflies have plenty of other opportunities to become mothers. One of these very key opportunities is through adoption. Now don't get me wrong, adoption is not the first choice for everyone....but it is my first choice and I will explain why. I will also give you a little information on how to go about it yourself should you choose to.
Adoption is my first choice for more than a few reasons. The first reason is because there are way too many children in this country already who need someone to show them love, kindness, and that the world can be an amazing place. The second, is that when you compare the cost of adoption and I.V.F they are roughly the same. If you ask me though, you have a better shot at becoming a parent through adoption than you do through I.V.F. Now, don't get me wrong, I completely understand why someone would want to choose I.V.F for themselves. I would be lying if I didn't admit that at some point I had considered it myself. In the end though, adoption won out for me. One last reason I have chosen adoption is because the government(U.S) pays you back a certain amount of the adoption fees when you file taxes the following year. I know that sounds like a selfish reason,but what I would do with that tax break is put it in a college fund for the child.
Be prepared, because adoption is a very lenghthy and difficult process. The first step I would reccomend taking is doing a simple google search for a local adoption agency. Do your research though, find reviews and maybe even try to speak face to face with someone who has used that agency. The agency itself will help guide you through the process, it is part of their job. The next step I would reccomend is finding a lawyer who specializes in adoption. Very few people know this, but lawyers are required by law to log a certain amount of "pro-bono" work each year......there are a good amount of lawyers who make doing adoptions a good part of that log because it's their way of giving back to the community. After you've found your agency and lawyer, set an appointment for an in home study. Your lawyer and agency will help you know who to call. This is the most difficult part of the process. When you go through an in home study they literally look at EVERYTHING. They observe how you and your partner interact, the cleanliness of your home, if you have enough space, they look at your finances, they do a federal and state background check, they dig into your medical records...especially if you have a psychological history. After the home study it's mostly waiting on a bunch of paperwork to go through the court and is a giant waiting game.
One way to make the adoption process go quicker is to be a foster parent first. You still have to go through a bunch of stuff to get certified and all that, but because the steps for fostering and straight adopting are pretty much the same, it makes everything go faster with the courts once an adoption is attempted.
There you have it folks, what I know and can help you with when it comes to adoption. It's not a whole lot, but I hope it was helpful. This is not the only option we have, but it's a pretty darn good one.Until next time folks.....May us butterflies always soar!
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