Positivity Control

                 What a lot of people in this world is need to realize, is that there are actually very few things in this world that we can control. Sometimes we wish we could control all aspects of our life, but the truth is...there is maybe a handful of things in this world we can control.

                  One of the few things we do have control over, is how much positivity is actually in our lives. You may be asking " How on earth can I control the amount of positivity in my life??". The short answer is to not allow yourself much time with people who are negative. For example, If you have a co-worker who is constantly complaining about everything....minimize your exposure to the negativity by trying to either stay focused on the customer or task in front of you or you can also just try to work in a different area not so close to the person.

                   A second way you can try to keep the positivity up is to make yourself a list, a list of all the good things in your life. I do this sometimes simply because all the bad stuff that comes up in life can sort of foreshadow the good, so if you make yourself more aware of the good the bad won't foreshadow as long.

                  One other thing that you can do, which is a little tricky....is to force yourself into a good attitude.You can do this several ways. Sometimes I put myself into a good attitude by waking up and simply saying out loud " Today is gonna be a good day".Sometimes just watching or listening to something funny can boost your mood too. Sometimes just being around kids helps me have a good day too.At work, I have a lot of kids that come in regularly and love to say hi to me. It is so awesome to get to catch up with the kids and the parents, that is what helps make my days better.

                  I know we have all heard about this next method of staying in a good mood. It is very simple too.....exercise. I know it's pretty typical, but it really does work. I have noticed in myself that it just perks me up after I'm done with my workout. I used to be on anti-depressants, but since I've started working out on a consistent basis I have been able to stop taking the pills.

                 There are very few things on this earth we can control, but how happy and positive we are is one those few things. You have to also believe you can control in order to completely gain more positivity. You can't just do these things and think they will work like magic, you have to truly believe that doing these things will help you. If you want your life more positive, you can change it.

When to tell....

One of the most frequent questions I see Turner’s girls ask of each other is when to tell someone you are dating about it Turner’s and all that it encompasses. For me, I have always told a guy almost right off the bat. It tends to weed out two things……the first being if they are truly interested in getting to know you for you, the second is if they are really ok with everything that having Turner’s entails.

I have had two very different experiences with giving this information. When I told my ex-husband he seemed really ok with everything I was telling him. He had me soo convinced that of course we got married. Well, when it came to the time in the marriage that we really started talking about expanding our family he started showing his true colors. He started throwing the infertility in my face when we would get in fights. He had no idea how to be there for me every time a doctors test would come back with bad results. I was totally on my own.

With my boyfriend, he was absolutely amazing and understanding. I told him about a week or two into the relationship. Not only was hej sincerely interested in the information I was telling him, he looked stuff up about it all on his own! This really touched my heart. Now that we have been together over a year, we have been talking about what will happen in our future. We have discussed the children situation many times and every time I walk out of that conversation feeling completely supported.

I hope every single one of you butterflies has an experience like my second one. If you start hearing things that point you into thinking that the guy you are with is not really ok with going through adoption or IVF or any of the other options we have…then I’m sorry but you might wanna end that relationship, because as soon as one of those processes start they are going to get very overwhelmed and start saying things that are hurtful. I kind of check-in with my boyfriend every once in a while and ask him if he is still sure he feels he can handle one of these excruciating processes…every time it’s the same answer…” of course babe. We will be going through this together.” Part of our responsibility is doing our research and thoroughly explaining to the guys what these processes are like.

I hope this advice is helpful, I also hope it doesn’t scare you….that was not the intent. We must also have faith in our men ladies. Faith that they are being honest, and that from the beginning they understand what this entails and that they can truly handle it. May we always soar!!

Self-Esteem Booster

One issue that I have noticed, not only in us butterflies but in ALL women is self-esteem. This world is full of women who don’t know their full potential, feel bad about themselves, don’t think they are pretty, or don’t think they are worth a man spending time on them.

One thing I want ALL women who read my blog to know is that you are always worth while. You are always beautiful. You should never feel bad about yourself. You are always worth people spending time on you.

There are many possible reasons for low self-esteem in women. Whether it’s not getting approval from either one or both of our parents, a significant other that constantly tells you awful things about yourself, a sibling telling you hurtful things, whatever it is that puts your self-esteem low try to reverse it once you catch it. You catch it by realizing when think stuff to yourself like “ what guy would want to date me?”, “ nothing looks good on me!”. There are tons of negative thoughts that you could catch going through your head.

Now, how do you reverse it? First off, if you are in a relationship with someone who is constantly telling you negative things about yourself leave! Second, and this is gonna sound really weird but I swear to you that I have actually done this before, look at yourself in a mirror…..now repeat to yourself(whether outloud or in your head) I am worth while. I am beautiful. I am special. Just repeating those things can help. One other thing I do is to pick one thing that I enjoy to do and do it for at least 20 minutes everyday. It doesn’t have to be the same thing every day. It can be several different things, the important thing is that you do one specific thing for yourself for at least 20 minutes.

One thing I want to talk about is that we women need to always lift each other up, not tear each other down. Shoot, we should do this as humans not just women. It absolutely astounds me that we as human beings can talk crap behind each other’s back and destroy each other so easily. There is enough bad stuff in this world. Let’s not add to it by tearing each other apart. It’s just one small thing each of us can do to possibly make this world a little bit better.

I hope the tips I gave to help your self-esteem really do help. The way I see it is that if these tips helped even one person feel better about themselves then I’ve helped make a difference. As Ellen Degenerous says…Be kind to one another.

Persevere

Persevere. It’s a word we hear a lot of today, but don’t always know the true meaning of. People sometimes think that persevere is a synonym for success. Persevering can lead to success, but it’s not a direct synonym. Persevere to me means pushing past all the hard, disappointing, depressing, stuff in life to have a happy one no matter what.

Us Turner’s girls do have to persevere a lot. We push through things like having to go through heart surgery, putting ourselves through IVF or even going through the adoption process. We put ourselves through second guessing guys intentions sometimes. We deal with adapting our lives to our height. Bottom line is that us butterflies end up having to go through a lot of difficult stuff.

We are put through it for a reason though. That reason is because we CAN handle it. As much as we fight it and say that we simply can’t take anymore, we always get through it. We get through because we know the great good that will come at the end. You persevere through IVF or adoption, you get the absolute joy of being a parent. You get through the heart surgery, you come out feeling ten times better.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, no matter what hardship you are going through right now, know that you will get through it BECAUSE you are a butterfly. Do yourself a favor and think back to all the stuff you’ve already gotten through……amazing isn’t it? If you can get through all that stuff, what’s stopping you from getting through this? You can achieve and persevere through whatever you put your mind too. Have a good one butterflies, and may we always soar!