When to tell....

One of the most frequent questions I see Turner’s girls ask of each other is when to tell someone you are dating about it Turner’s and all that it encompasses. For me, I have always told a guy almost right off the bat. It tends to weed out two things……the first being if they are truly interested in getting to know you for you, the second is if they are really ok with everything that having Turner’s entails.

I have had two very different experiences with giving this information. When I told my ex-husband he seemed really ok with everything I was telling him. He had me soo convinced that of course we got married. Well, when it came to the time in the marriage that we really started talking about expanding our family he started showing his true colors. He started throwing the infertility in my face when we would get in fights. He had no idea how to be there for me every time a doctors test would come back with bad results. I was totally on my own.

With my boyfriend, he was absolutely amazing and understanding. I told him about a week or two into the relationship. Not only was hej sincerely interested in the information I was telling him, he looked stuff up about it all on his own! This really touched my heart. Now that we have been together over a year, we have been talking about what will happen in our future. We have discussed the children situation many times and every time I walk out of that conversation feeling completely supported.

I hope every single one of you butterflies has an experience like my second one. If you start hearing things that point you into thinking that the guy you are with is not really ok with going through adoption or IVF or any of the other options we have…then I’m sorry but you might wanna end that relationship, because as soon as one of those processes start they are going to get very overwhelmed and start saying things that are hurtful. I kind of check-in with my boyfriend every once in a while and ask him if he is still sure he feels he can handle one of these excruciating processes…every time it’s the same answer…” of course babe. We will be going through this together.” Part of our responsibility is doing our research and thoroughly explaining to the guys what these processes are like.

I hope this advice is helpful, I also hope it doesn’t scare you….that was not the intent. We must also have faith in our men ladies. Faith that they are being honest, and that from the beginning they understand what this entails and that they can truly handle it. May we always soar!!